Can you REALLY say 'No' at work?
- keloweelee
- Jun 14, 2021
- 4 min read
TLDR: Can you say 'no' at work? Yes. Can you say 'no' without making any sacrifices? No. But the truth is that you don't have to please everyone, just those who matter.
I came across several articles about saying 'no' and drawing healthy boundaries at work (some with practical tips, of course):
3 Tips To Say 'No' In Your Career With Less Guilt & Fear Of Backlash, From A Clinical Psychologist.
As much I would advocate for a healthy work-life balance, I think it's naive to think that everyone can easily say 'no' to things at work, without having to make sacrifices. The reality is that saying 'no' could have potential consequences - in terms of delaying your career progressions, giving a misinterpreted impression (for example, that you're lazy) or letting people down. BUT, it doesn't always have to be that way - depending on the stage of your career - there are ways around it.
Firstly, what are you sacrificing when you say 'yes'?
I think we need to be realistic about the consequences of saying 'no' and 'yes'. Especially in Malaysia, not all bosses or managers are ready to accept the concept of having 'healthy boundaries'. They text you whenever they want: at 2am, on a Saturday morning, even when you're just about to undergo surgery. However, there are also consequences to always saying 'yes' to whatever that's thrown at you:
Quality: If you're trying to juggle between too many things, the quality of each deliverable drops. This might ruin your reputation more than having said 'no' to begin with.
Time to invest: Important things might not always be urgent. For example, networking is key to one's success. But if you're too bolted down with tasks, you wouldn't have time to invest into building relationships that matter. You also wouldn't have the time to sit down and strategize for your department/company. You technically can reschedule these items until it becomes urgent (which might already be too late by then), but it comes with a hefty cost.
I use the Eisenhower matrix to decide between importance and urgency, you can read more about it in my article, "Are You Indecisive? Here Are Some Frameworks To Help You"
Artwork by: Crunch by Nuffnang
Your physical and mental well-being: If you're constantly pushing yourself way beyond your limits, you might burnout.
Your relationships: Aside from workplace relationships, you are essentially sacrificing your time with your family, friends and partner.
Be clear about one thing before you proceed: saying 'no' will definitely limit your opportunities / exposure, but saying 'yes' also comes with sacrifices. Pick your battle.
How to make up for saying 'no'?
Saying no (or wanting to) is not going to end your career. There are ways to be a high performer even though you say 'no' to certain things (don't be too relieved yet, because this requires hard work).
Be really, really, really good at your job. Career capital is a term coined by Cal Newport in his book, "So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love" (would 100% recommend this book). It's defined as "a description of the skills you have that are rare and valuable to the working world. This is the key currency for creating work you love."
When you're an expert in an area, people come to you with specific issues. This leads to two things:
- If a deliverable is not within your scope of expertise, they can understand if you say no. They wouldn't want to waste your time doing something beyond your scope; nor do they want a non-expert handling the task.
- If it's within your expertise, you can give guidance or oversee the task, rather than having it fall on your plate.
When you're so incredibly good at your work, you also establish yourself as an asset in the company - they'll value you too much to let you go because you said 'no' to certain things. If you get into trouble, you have built enough career capital to find a new job that would be more respectful of your boundaries.
Talk to your Manager(s). You can just be honest about your workload and tell them that you want to focus on quality over quantity. Many a time, you might be assigned tasks because (i) they don't remember how much is on your plate, (ii) they think you are capable. Try to talk it out, and ask if you can have extra helping hands.
If other people are assigning you tasks (and it really isn't meant to be your job), escalate it to your Manager(s). They should be able to shield you from vultures coming to attack you with more tasks.
Understand your performance evaluation structure. This is the truth: not every one has a say on your performance during the evaluations (even if it's a 360 review). Talk to HR / your Manager to understand how it works, be smart about saying 'yes' to those who have a direct impact on your evaluation (but still be nice to everyone else).
It also depends on the stage of your career
If you're a fresh graduate, say 'yes' to more things (within your limits). This gives you the exposure to the industry and networking you'd need to succeed later in life. Your lack of quality in deliverables is also more forgivable since you're young.
If you're a Manager, you should already be at the level of expertise where you know what problems you can or cannot solve; prioritize the ones within your circle of influence. You are in the position to delegate, or hire in order to delegate. Also, now that you're a Manager, be less of a jerk and be more respectful of your subordinate's boundaries.
Between being a fresh grad and manager, it's just about being wise about your priorities, saying 'yes/no' at the right time, to the right people, in the right way.
At the end of the day, remember that you have a choice, and the choices comes with consequences. BUT, it is a choice only you can make.
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