Stressed out? Try this mental reset technique

This article was first published on Crunch by Nuffnang. It has since been updated and edited.

Have you ever heard of the term “the show must go on”? It is usually used in show business, where a live performance must continue regardless of the circumstances. It is now often used as an encouraging phrase, urging someone to keep at it despite experiencing difficulties.

How exactly do we snap out of our negative thoughts and maintain a strong face? We need quick mental resets.

What are mental resets?

Resetting your mind is a powerful tool to combat or face stress. Mental resets are a process of identifying the right emotional triggers and using them to help you re-focus and stimulate the right reactions. For example, have you ever been put in a tough spot but had to remain a strong face?

It happens! Sometimes you get negative feedback or a strong word from your boss or client but have to turn around and continue motivating your team (and yourself) to push through and get the task done – and it’s definitely not easy. In situations like this, you would be required to mentally reset within minutes – if not seconds.

Why are mental resets important?

Because a lot of times, the show simply must go on (especially if it’s a literal live show). If you have a due date that needs to be met, projects that need to be delivered and things that need to be done, you simply have to pick yourself up and keep going.

Do note that this doesn’t downplay or ignore the negative long-term effects of being under continuous pressure or stress, but refers to short-term refocusing when dealing with tight time-crunches.

How to mentally reset?

Here are a few things to consider:

1. What is the negativity directed at?

Do not take negative circumstances personally – it is not the time to play the “blame game”. In the heat of the moment, it might feel like a personal attack. Resist the temptation to spiral into a defensive or victim mindset. Instead, take a step back and look at it objectively: you’ll then realize that it’s about the circumstances and not you.

Exchanging feedback and constructively analysing is important but can come slightly later. In urgent moments, attribute the fault to something (e.g. this is all the printer’s fault), so you can quickly refocus on how to move forward – this is known as the attribution theory.

For example, let’s say you are conducting a virtual training live. Your laptop suddenly dies because you forgot to connect it to a power source. At that moment, the priority is to return to the call as soon as possible. Instead of blaming yourself (e.g. I am so stupid for forgetting) – which could ruin your mood, attribute it to something else (e.g. silly laptop) so you can move on.

After the session, you can then reflect on what went positively and take notes on actionable items for the future e.g. “To-do: turn on power source” instead of “To-do: be less stupid”.

2. What’s in it for me?

When it comes to work, our performance is usually tied to monetary rewards such as bonuses. So keep that in mind and use that as a motivating factor.

If you feel like that goal is too far from sight, then set mini rewards for yourself. It can be something as simple as treating yourself to a meal, or buying yourself that expensive gift set you have been eyeing on for years. There is nothing wrong with a little pick-me-up, especially if you deserve to treat yourself (but within budget).

3. Why stop now?

It is not easy to get to where you are, so you should remember how capable and strong you are. You have already come so far, why stop now? Remind yourself that you definitely have what it takes – you are excellent with your work, you have the skillsets needed and you have the perfect tools to execute what is ahead of you. Do not doubt your own ability, but realize that you are at the last milestone and are very close to your goals. Press on, do not give up! Have a mantra in your pocket that you can easily recite, for example:

- I am strong and capable

- I am a growing gentle being

- Just do it

- I am calm, collected and confident

Another helpful and practical tool is to develop a project timeline or draw a bar, with every task you complete, fill in more of the bar until you reach its completion. It doesn’t have to be used as an actual tool to track project progress but is a visual tool for you to “see” how far you have come. Make it colourful or pretty if you want, anything to help you persevere.

4. How can I freshen up?

A key to mental resets is triggering the right emotions to get the job done. This can be done by identifying “reset points” and conditioning yourself to think or behave a certain way upon coming in contact with that reset point. This can be anything that is within your vicinity or something that is convenient for you. When I was studying in University, I had ice cream “pit stops” and an ice cream buddy.

Every time I feel overwhelmed or stressed, I call up my buddy and go get ice cream—sometimes I rant, sometimes I just eat ice cream in silence. It is a temporary solution, but it is definitely a helpful breather. It can be anything, such as refilling your water bottle, taking the elevator up and down for no reason or to sit in your car and listen to your favourite song on repeat. Whatever or whoever it may be, it is important to have a “go-to”.

Reset points can also be time-based, for example, the next day, a new month, “after lunch”—these can all be reset points. Remind yourself that every day is a new opportunity.

PS: This works for developing new habits too

“If you aren’t sure when to start your habit, try the first day of the week, month of year. People are more likely to take action at those times because hope is usually higher. If we have hope, we have a reason to take action. A fresh start feels motivating.”

- Atomic Habits, James Clear

5. It’s finally over. Now what?

Short-term mental resets are needed when you have tight timelines. However, long term resets are necessary as well. Once you have completed your tasks at hand, take time for an intentional mental reset — understand what went wrong, allow yourself to (finally) feel what you need to feel, reflect on your experience and track your goals. Give yourself space to re-energize yourself because you have been running on empty.

Long term reset also includes realigning yourself to your objectives and goals, restarting with a fresh (or affirmed) perspective and simply trying again.

In our day to day tasks and relationships, mental resets are crucial. We need to be able to develop resilience, step into a growth mindset and be increasingly competent. This constant expectation to be better and deliver results might be difficult, but possible if we learn to reset our minds, press on and to perform under pressure. Being able to mentally reset — both short and long term — will not only make us valuable employees but is important for our overall mental well-being; so start practising and trying it today.