Things I Learnt After Being A Working Adult For One Year

This article was originally published on Crunch by Nuffnang.

We hear about “adulting” very often, as we use it to describe having to grow up or be responsible. However, no one really talks about what “adulting” actually entails. We might think that it’s related to the new sets of responsibilities we acquire as working adults, such as paying taxes, buying our own insurances, or taking ourselves to the doctor’s–but it’s more than that. Although that is indeed a part of being a grown-up, it is also about the transitions, making hard decisions, managing relationships and a whole lot of self-discovery.

My first year as a working adult has been a bitter-sweet experience. Although I am grateful to be financially stable despite the pandemic, I sure wished someone told me how hard this transition into adulthood would be. As such, I would like to share the lessons I have learnt – so that if you are about to experience the same transition, you are a bit more mentally prepared; or if you are in the same phase of life that I am, to be assured that you are not alone in this.

Self-awareness is key.

You might be rolling your eyes and thinking that this is “one of those mindfulness articles”–it is not. Self-reflection and journaling helped me overcome a very stressful global pandemic, and it also made me realize my value as an employee. For most of 2020, I was stuck in a job I did not enjoy. I was deliberating whether or not to leave but was concerned about damaging my resume (because a lot of companies appreciate loyalty).

However, being self-aware allowed me to know my strengths, weaknesses and values–this helped me realize that my then workplace simply would not help me reach my greatest potential. Sure enough, within two weeks of job-hunting, I received several offers at companies that would value my skill sets. This gave me the confidence and peace to leave a toxic environment in the midst of a pandemic.

If I were not intentional about self-awareness, I would not have had the power to negotiate for better pay, speak with confidence or be proactive with my work.

With great economic power, comes great responsibility.

All of a sudden, I had money. Hard-earned, self-generated money. It is liberating to be financially independent, but it is also important to remember that… with great economic power, comes great responsibility. There are a lot of direct applications such as cultivating a habit of saving, investing, applying for a credit card to build credit ratings–which are all very important (there are plenty of tools online, such as Multiply, an online platform with easily accessible information on personal finances).

But I also learnt more indirect lessons about money: being careless is expensive.

• I lost my parking ticket once and had to pay an RM50 fine.

• I bought a low-quality product online and paid over RM150 for a broken item.

• I threw away receipts for things I could have refunded or claimed for.

• I am unaware of how to claim income tax reliefs (or what can be relieved).

They might look like small amounts at first, but the combination of these mistakes could have saved me tons of money. That being said, I can only learn and move on–so I shall be more attentive to details and responsible with my finances and purchases.

Be open to new experiences.

As qualified as one can be, a newbie is still a newbie. I was exposed not only to new experiences but also to different mindsets, practices, and processes. For example, I found out that not everyone prefers email as their main channel of communication (in a work setting), or that some people really enjoy their smoke breaks, or that not everyone enjoys conversing in English. If I only wanted to hang out with people who were similar to me, I would be stuck in an echo chamber.

So, I began asking questions about why people do what they do, and began understanding others better rather than judging them. Being open and curious allowed me to be more flexible, helped me adapt to new situations better and trained me to think on my feet. I used to struggle (and start crying) when plans change last minute or when things were outside of my comfort zone, but being more open to experiences has trained me to be more agile and resilient.

Learn how to stand your ground.

As a fresh graduate wanting to climb the corporate ladder, I felt like the smartest thing to do was to be a “yes man”. However, as “fresh meat”, some people tried to take advantage of my eagerness. As much as I wanted to be open to new experiences, I needed to make sure I wasn’t bullied into being a pushover.

There is a fine line between being fussy and focused–I would gladly accept new opportunities, but needed to make sure these additional side projects do not get in the way of me delivering quality work. I had to learn to say “no” but also be careful not to burn any bridges or step on anyone’s toes, which is a delicate balance that I am still figuring out. What does it actually take to stand your ground?

Doing your homework, building your case and presenting it well. If a proposed idea is ineffective, it is crucial to be able to counter-offer or to propose alternative solutions, not just say “no” for the sake of it without even trying or thinking about it.

Building a community.

We hear or watch office politics from dramas a lot, but let me tell you now: it exists, and it is very stressful to navigate around. You will come across relationships or partnerships that are mutually constructive and beneficial, but you may also come across harmful ones. It is important to be able to identify people whom you can trust, and whom you can rely on. Here is a helpful podcast that talks about identifying “sponsors”, people who speak on your behalf, and why they are important in the workplace.

When I was considering switching jobs, I consulted a lot of my experienced friends to help me make sense of my situation, to seek alternative perspectives, or to find assurance that I was doing the right thing. Aside from work, there are also a lot of transitions happening as by-products of adulthood: purchasing a car/house, getting married, or having children. Having a proper support system makes these decisions and experiences a lot more bearable.

In summary, adulthood is filled with oxymorons and confrontational experiences. I’m pretty sure I had existential crises every month–and you will too. There is no guidebook that could have fully prepared me for this phase of life, so I treasure these bitter-sweet experiences because they made me a better version of myself; and they will make you grow, too.

There is no better line to describe how I felt for most of 2020 than from Taylor Swift’s 22:

“Yeah, we’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.It’s miserable and magical, oh yeah”

If it’s any consolation: You are not in this alone. You will be able to get through it.