What is the meaning of life?

Foreword: This post is technical a 4-minute read. But it does contain some pretty confrontational questions. I know it’s often hard to pause in this fast-paced world, but I strongly encourage you to take time and reflect on the thought experiments if possible! Also, this blog title is a clickbait.

Anyway... thank you for stopping by!

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Adulthood is hard and confusing. I spend most of my time thinking of what it means to be successful and how to be successful (and the other times of adulthood denying I’m an adult). I want to thrive at work but am completely terrified (what if I try my best but still end up mediocre? In that case, should I even bother trying?). It’s vain, and in vain, really – trying to appear successful. I realise there is only one thing that matters – or so I tell myself at this stage of life: at the end of the day, am I at peace with myself?

(I am in a cafe waiting for a friend and my tea is taking forever to arrive. How long is too long of a wait for tea in a sachet? Oh it arrived in a fancy Harney & Sons pot!)

In a vile attempt to make sense of my life, I read… and came across some materials (books / articles / podcasts) that I converted into thought exercises. I’d like to invite you to join me in mentally going through these scenarios (I would recommend journaling your thoughts down, but if not, you could use my templates hehe) and hopefully come to a better clarity about what matters to you most.

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A quick side-track: One of Gen.T’s recent mailing list was on unlearning (relevant to me as a Learning and Development professional, but also applicable to life in general), where they referenced the Five Monkeys Experiment. Some hypothesised that it was a fake experiment, but its analogy has a lot to teach us about nature vs nurture and challenges us to question why we believe (and act accordance with) in what we believe in. Give it a read!

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The Dying Exercise

[Trigger warning: suicide]

In the book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, there was an entire chapter on thinking about dying. It was pretty confrontational and honestly a bit uncomfortable. We tend to avoid conversations or thoughts about our mortality (maybe because mental health is still very much a taboo), so to have the author so vividly describe his existential crisis… felt intrusive. In summary, he inched very very closely to the edge of a tall tall cliff and that life-and-death situation got him feeling more alive and refreshed than ever. Here are some excerpts and quotes that I really enjoyed:

Here's a template I’ve prepared with 4 questions for you to reflect on. I think thinking about death gives you a good perspective about life, what’s left of it and what your priorities are. I would not recommend putting your life in actual danger, but it does help to isolate yourself so your reflections are more realistic and grounded.

“What hurricanes will you leave in your wake?”

For me, this helped me boil down to what truly is important to me. I want to be generous, more with my time than what I can purchase. I’m not some super altruistic missionary who wants to change the world, I just want to make the lives of people around me slightly better - if not through material goods, then merely through my company and the care and laughter I might be able to bring.

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Commercial break: In order to have more control of my life and to make sense of what’s happening around me, I started journaling. It has helped tremendously in increasing my self-awareness and regulating my emotions. Don’t know where to start? Here are some guided reflections / zines that might be helpful.

PS: This is a fun side-business for me, so I’d appreciate any forms of support. But if you’re honestly interested but not sure if it’s your thing, do DM / email me for a free copy (as a trial)

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The lucky exercise

I’m not one who subscribes to the belief of mere luck, I believe God ordain for certain things to happen at particular times, but I do recognise that a lot of things that are out of my control shapes my life and who I am. The next exercise was inspired by the podcast, The TED Interview, episode “Michael Schur on every moral question ever”, with Michael Schur - who was the director of The Office, Brooklyn 99, and The Good Place.

The exercise is simple – a sequential description of all the chains of events where you were lucky. He also mentioned that it doesn’t diminish your accomplishments to recognise that a lot of things happen due to luck e.g. how your parents met. This exercised serves three purposes:

• To acknowledge the series of fortunate events (the right things that happened in the right time) that we should be grateful for

• To realise that some other people might be equally talented, but simply less lucky – and this should generate a deeper sense of empathy

• To realise that your presence has potential to make a difference in someone’s life (meeting you can be someone’s “fortunate event”), make good use of it

Similarly, here's a template with 4 questions to reflect on. I think through some of the pivotal moments in my life and realise that someone was always there to influence that change. For example, when I was deciding what to study after my pre-university course, my aunt urged me to apply for a scholarship (for a Psychology course, a major that was very different from what I initially wanted to venture into). In that university, I met my boyfriend. In a random church meeting, I met someone who referred me to an internship in recruitment, changing my path from clinical psychology to organisational psychology. The trajectory of my life changed (for the better), because people were willing to spend 5 minutes to positively influence me.

In summary, I still don't have a solid answer as to what the meaning of life is. But in all areas of life, I try to apply this: To leave the place better than you found it. I hope that your reflection would be fruitful, and that your next adventures would fulfil the deepest desires of your soul.